3 Words that Can Fix our World (and it isn’t “I Love You”)

I remember when our boys were babies – maybe a few months old – and we always did the “Ta Ta” thing with them.  Anyone else do the “Ta Ta” thing?  Those were probably the first words they learned besides “Mom” and “Dada”.   For those who have no idea what I’m talking about (if you’re under 30) “Ta Ta” = “Please” OR “Thank You” depending on the circumstances.  If baby wanted the toy they had to say “Ta Ta” (“Please”) and  if they had the toy and  gave it to us we said “Ta Ta” or “Thank you”.  Pretty simple concept really.

Now, after watching how the world seems to be imploding these days I have a sneaky suspicion that “Ta Ta” is not being taught to babies anymore.  To me, “Please” and “Thank you” are representative of two of the most important values we can instill in our children and practice ourselves to set a good example for those children – RESPECT and GRATITUDE.  These are the moral compass of any person, no matter their age, color or religion.   If everyone respected themselves first, other people, children, animals and the Earth we live on can you imagine how different things would be?   To ask for something, prefaced by “Please” rather than demanding it sets a whole different mindset in both those asking AND in those giving.  There is a feeling of mutual respect.  Instead of “Gimme that _____! “ (fill in the blank) we should be teaching (and practicing) asking respectfully for that which we want, whether it be the salt shaker  across the table or a toy that someone else is playing with or permission to sit beside someone on the bus. 

 

So, if Respect is manifested by saying “Please” then Gratitude, of course, is in the “Thanks” we give for every possible thing in our lives from the ability to get up each morning, the food we have to eat and the home we live in (no matter the SIZE of that home).  But it goes much farther than that.  When I was growing up (I see you all rolling your eyes – here comes one of those “when I was a kid” stories) Christmas meant ONE gift and a stocking with hard Christmas candies, a Christmas orange and maybe a new pencil or crayons and let me tell you, we were thrilled to get whatever we got.  

And the start of a new school year meant two new outfits and a new pair of shoes – and by “new”, quite often we shopped at the Salvation Army so while maybe not NEW it was new to us.  I remember vividly, one Fall when ponchos were the "in" thing my Mom sewed my sister and me each a beautiful poncho made out of a grey blanket.  They were complete with a cozy warm, fleece lining and colorful ric-rac trim. 

We were thrilled!  Our ponchos were in style (and unique) and, more importantly, they were warm (yes, we DID have to walk 2 miles, one way to school!).  The fact that our Mom had taken the time to make them by hand was probably lost on us at the time but I still remember it to this day so it must have left an impression. 

I remember too, the day we moved into a bigger trailer – a double wide (!) and it meant that I got to have my OWN room.  I thought I’d just been given a million bucks.  As a teenager, having my own space meant so much and I kept that room spotless without anyone nagging me to – it was MINE – I was so THANKFUL for it after having shared a room with my little sister up to then.  

The reason I tell these stories is because, in today’s world, so much is taken for granted or, worse, not even given a second thought.    

Today’s kids have EVERYTHING!  

From their designer toddler clothes to their mountains of toys, gadgets, electronics – you name it, today’s child either already has it or will be getting it for their birthday or Christmas or maybe even for passing a Grade in school.   That, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily the problem (although I can see why “minimalism” is becoming popular!)  The problem is that they have absolutely NO appreciation for any of it.  Don’t believe me?  Take a look around their bedrooms, their toyrooms, basements, whatever and you will see piles of discarded clothes, boxes of toys that don’t ever get played with while the kids keep asking for more and more and more.   

(Before I continue I must acknowledge MY part as a parent who had a hand in helping create the Generation Y who are now raising the “Z’s” and soon-to-be "Alphas".  I will take my share of the responsibility for helping manifest a generation who expect everything and value nothing (or so it seems).   Growing up with little, we probably overcompensated with our children although mine DID learn to say “Please” and “Thank you” and, I think they’ve turned out to be pretty awesome IMO.)

I also notice a distinct lack of organization in today’s “kids” (anyone under 30 again) which probably comes from having everything at the touch of a button.  Running late in the morning and missed breakfast?  No problem….hit the drive-thru at Timmys. Didn't plan for supper?  Nuke a pre-made, pre-formed, pre-seasoned something in the microwave. No clean or ironed clothes for work?  Go online and order something and have it delivered by tomorrow, to your door OR go to the Mall that’s open 24 hours a day and BUY something.  Just kick those dirty, wrinkled ones further into your massive walk-in closet.  Forgot to do your homework?  Quick – Google something, save it and email it to your teacher.  This lack of organization also leads to increased stress by the way - well, for me it sure does!  I get stressed just looking at this picture!!  Where's the "gratitude" here?  The "respect" for all of these lovely clothes? 

And, finally, the third word that I believe will help “fix” all of us is “Sorry”.  To be able to say “I’m sorry” is a sign of humility and responsibility – it’s not a sign of weakness to admit when you’re wrong or if you feel bad for the circumstances of someone else.    Unfortunately, today’s society would sooner pull out their camera-phone and take pictures of the event (say, accidentally spilling coffee on someone) and then post it on Social Media so the whole world can witness it rather than grabbing some napkins, apologizing and helping that person. 

 

Please don’t think I’m painting every person in the world with the same brush but you get the idea.  And even though this generation seems to be lacking in some basic things there IS good news.  Apparently, they may actually be well-equipped to run our world going forward: http://people.howstuffworks.com/culture-traditions/generation-gaps/generation-z1.htm   

In the meantime I think this old world could stand a little more 

Respect, Gratitude and Humility so I’ve started really paying attention to using these words, especially with my very impressionable grandchildren and I think it’s starting to rub off.  And if my actions don’t actually SAVE the world they MAY make a huge difference in the lives of the people I love and that, my friends, is bound to impact my life.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on this - Please and Thank You!  (Oh, and “I’m Sorry” if you don’t agree)