Older, Wiser and...Happier? YES!

Lately, as I’ve been talking to other women my age and reading so many blogs and posts from menopausal women, a recurring theme has emerged that troubles me. These women are miserable. They have hot flashes, fatique, brain fog, pain and big time irritability. Many feel angry and hopeless as they lash out against this “punishment” women must endure – some for years.
And it got me thinking about “women” in general, and our life journeys. I remember, vividly, those carefree days BEFORE I “became a woman” (ie. got my “period”). I didn’t have a care in the world – was quite the tomboy actually – as I explored, built tree forts, collected salamanders and lived in that wonderful world of blissful ignorance. And then the dreaded EVENT happened when I was about 12 years old. I remember clearly….we were at the Circus. It was about 100 degrees that day so we were sticky and hot but loving the smells, the animals and the excitement of the Big Tent. We didn’t often get to do fun things like that so we were enthralled with every moment. I was experiencing some cramps and was sooo hot but didn’t want to complain for fear of missing a moment. When we got home I went to the bathroom and was HORRIFIED! Mom calmly explained that I was now a “woman” and this would happen every month – she said it was an exciting day. Exiting?!! Are you kidding me? I remember screaming at her “Make me a BOY!! Right NOW!!” I was SO angry. That was the end of my carefree days. That was the beginning of….being a “woman” and, every month after that I would be ANGRY but resigned. There was nothing I could do but accept it. It was part of who and what I was. At 12 I KNEW I couldn’t be changed into a boy but I never stopped thinking how unfair it was. I still say that when I “come back” it will be as a boy!
Over the next few decades, I got married, went through pregnancy to have the kids and then looked after everyone because my “role” in this journey was MOM and WIFE. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not complaining one bit – I loved raising my kids (and now have the reward of Grandkids) and, honestly, it gave me a lot of satisfaction to make sure hubby and children were looked after. I did manage to do some things for ME but the BIG things I’d always dreamed of doing when I was a child got pushed back, tucked away inside – waiting.

Now that I’ve reached the age of menopause, I have to say I was actually pretty excited to be rid of that dreaded “monthly curse”. Finally! Sure, I experience hot flashes sometimes. I’m irritable at times. And I don’t have patience for stupid people anymore. But, honestly for the most part, I feel like a butterfly that’s finally emerged from the cocoon. I’m free to be ME, finally. And even though I’m still looking after my kids and husband and now have grandchildren to “worry” about (and enjoy!) and I have a parent who needs more care, I am eager to embrace this new chapter of my life. I have things to accomplish and I’m looking forward to bringing out those “BIG things” I’d tucked away so long ago and, hopefully, accomplishing some of them. It’s an exciting time – another beginning .
I guess what I want to say to all of those many, many women out there who are miserable and looking for ways to “fight” or “cure” menopause and its many manifestations is this – aging and all that comes with it is part of our personal journey. We can either resent it, waste time trying to “cure” it and be miserable OR we can embrace it as OUR TIME to shine. Explore new experiences like yoga, meditation, hobbies you’ve always wanted to do, volunteering, go back to school, keep a journal. Take time to take CARE of yourself through better diet, more sleep, getting exercise. Think back to when you were a child and remember those dreams you had. Dig them out and have another look at them. Make this next step in YOUR journey the time to be true to yourself.

When I look in the mirror these days I see wrinkles and grey hairs looking back at me and yet, even as my eyes take this all in, the inner me is still young, hopeful and excited for what each new day will bring. I’m more content with simple things. I appreciate peace and quiet. I’m probably more selfish with MY time because I want each minute to count. Let me leave you with this saying that I think of often….”Don’t ever regret growing older. It’s a privilege denied to many” To have the chance to LIVE a full life is a gift that shouldn’t be wasted.
Namaste